Yes, I found “The One”. I found my soul mate*, my life partner, my happily-ever-after. I know I have found him because it feels different this time. My head is in the clouds, but my feet are on the ground. I am euphorically calm. It doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t make me feel anxious. It is pretty damn amazing. So here is how I did it.

(* A note about soul mates: I believe that a soul mate is someone we’ve known before in another lifetime that agreed to help us get on our right path. They may do this in a very unpleasant or wonderful way and they may not stick around to see where your journey takes you.)

First, I made my list. My list includes almost 20 “he must…” statements. For example, “He must find me irresistibly sexy” (Everyone should put that one on the list…in my humble opinion.) and “He must believe in me and I in him.” I did not include any appearance statements such as, “He must look like Robert Downey Jr.” I figure that the one who was meant for me would look appealing to me no matter what.

Second, when the New Moon fell in my 7th House of partnerships (this is astrology…email me if you want to know how to figure this.) I made a vision board. You can make a vision board any time. What matters most is how clear you are with your intention. You have to know what you want. Here is a picture of the board I made. Most of it only means something to me and a lot of it is symbolic, but I’d thought I’d show you anyway.


Third, I got practical on how I was going to meet this guy. I work from home and don’t find myself in environments where I am likely to meet single men. So in order to increase my odds of finding this special person, I decided to join a dating site. I looked for prospects in my local area because I was serious and I wanted a relationship and not a pen pal. My guy invited me for a lunch date and walked me out to my car. He gave me a hug goodbye and that was when the lightening bolt hit.

Now, I hear you saying, “Really Kriss? That’s all it takes?” And to be perfectly honest, no, that is not all it takes. Those steps are necessary, although they can take many forms. The list and the vision board are a way to get really clear on what you want and need in a relationship. Joining a dating site is telling the Universe that you are serious and you are ready. But what I haven’t mentioned yet is all the inner work I did to make me ready for such a wonderful relationship.

The inner work that I am talking about requires an examination of past relationships and finding your own pattern in them. We tend to pick partners that trigger deep wounds in ourselves in order to heal them. Some partners mildly trigger this and others pack a wallop. It takes being able to get detached. This work is no time to feel like a victim. It is time to get really honest and see your part in all of it. What are those wounds that keep getting triggered? What is your pattern?

After you see the patterns, do some reading or get some therapy on how to overcome them. Wounds are in the past. It is time to leave them behind and move forward in a more healthy way. Start practicing your better-enlightened decision-making right away. Relationships between emotionally healthy people are so much better!

It is possible. It is even possible to discover you are already with “The One”, you just have some work to do. And even though I have found mine, I know that there is always work to be done. Work that brings us closer together and deepens our love… worthwhile work for sure!

And here is the really good news: This whole process can go very fast. It doesn’t have to take years as long as you get real with yourself. Start today. Ask for help in seeing clearly. Go fall in some wonderful love. I highly recommend it.

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