Sometimes I wallow. Its kind of a funny word… means “to live self indulgently; luxuriate; revel. I like to wallow in the feeling of melancholy; wallow in sadness. I like to play music from “The Fountain” especially when love is part of the scenario. Love-ache is my favorite reason for wallowing. There has been a lot of that lately. I picture Hugh Jackman’s anguish; anguish that spans lifetimes (very poignant stuff). That music can push a person into sadness even if there is no reason for it. I just let the tidal wave of sadness engulf me. Emotions can be like tsunamis for those of us with a Scorpio Moon like mine (we really don’t even need the music).
But is wallowing self-indulgent? I was taught that no one wants to see a sad face. Sadness makes other people uncomfortable, maybe because they are afraid of their own. Most will try to cheer you up thinking that you shouldn’t be sad. But if you are sad, that is to be respected. Your emotions should be respected, not stuffed. I think that indulging in a little wallowing now and then helps me keep my sanity. The sadness doesn’t scare me. Sometimes it can be pretty dark down there, but I can always find my way back out with a little self-care.
When I encounter others dealing with sadness, I don’t try to cheer them up. Letting them talk, giving a hug, or just sitting with them are things I do. Let people have their sadness. Depression, of course, is a whole other thing and requires a hand up. But I am just talking about short-term sadness for a specific reason. Grieving takes time. Broken hearts take time. Losing a job takes time to bounce back from…. allow it.
Tonight I am in a wallowing mood. Maybe it is because the Moon just entered Scorpio and is affecting my natal Moon. Maybe it is because the world seems unsafe. Maybe it is because I have a love-ache. I am going to indulge it. I can go to the store tomorrow. I can stay in my slippers tonight. I know I will feel better for it tomorrow.
by Kriss Lumsden